Remus' Prank
by Alania Black
Summary: November Challenge Month 12: Remus is tired of Sirius and James' constant pranking and plots to pull the ultimate prank on them both.


Last year it was The Official Unwritten Slash Month, this year it's the Official Challenge Month. The similarities? A month of fics by one author. The difference? This time, YOU are in control.

Each fic will be written based on a challenge. This can be any type of challenge, from a single word to a full-blown challenge. The rules are simple, they must be Harry Potter and they must be slash. So get involved, get reviewing and together we'll make November the Challenge Month.

(Challenges can be submitted either via Reviews or PMs. If your submission is anonymous, please leave an email address so I can contact you if I chose to write your fic, this address will also be kept private.)

Challenge: Remus is tired of Sirius and James' constant plotting and plots to pull the ultimate prank on them, from Werewitch.

Prank.

Remus groaned as he pulled himself out of bed, soaking wet for the third morning in a row. If his two friends were going to insist on constantly pranking him, they could at least come up with something original, rather than repeating the same tiresome prank morning after morning.

Remus sat down to breakfast deep in thought. His friends had become tedious recently, almost like they couldn't be bothered any more. Maybe, he thought, it's time for them to be given a taste of their own medicine. Make them realise that they're not the only ones who can pull pranks.

Remus spent over a week thinking up his prank before finding the perfect one. It had stemmed from a conversation he, James and Sirius had been having where Sirius had said that the day Remus got laid would be the day the world ended.

"Really, it's almost too easy." He murmured to himself, looking around for his quarry. He knew for this that he would need an accomplice, and there was only one person in Hogwarts other than Sirius that would be good for this.

"Mark, there you are, I've been looking for you, can I have a word?"

"Lupin?" Mark asked suspiciously, squinting at him in the manner of someone who wasn't sure if he was talking to the person he thought he was.

"That's me. Listen, I need your help."

He didn't even mind the icy water that Saturday morning, had been growing to enjoy the wake-up call in fact. He dressed in his nicest clothes – Christmas gifts form Sirius, and headed down for breakfast. He met mark at the Entrance, having timed it carefully so he and Mark would meet just as Sirius and James entered the Hall. Both boys were looking right at them as Remus leant up and kissed Mark deeply.

Mark wasn't a bad kisser, he reflected, very skilled. The only thing missing, really, was that he wasn't Sirius, and didn't kiss like Sirius. Remus had only kissed the other boy once - while they were both drunk – but it was enough to know that he would be forever spoiled for anyone else. The fact that he had a crush on Sirius bigger than the Hogwarts "pond" also affected his enjoyment, but he still threw himself into the kiss and came away moaning, half-hard and flushed.

He expected a lot from Sirius and James. Astonishment, amusement, amazement. Even complete scepticism. He didn't expect James to shake his head in exasperation, nor for Sirius to storm back to, presumably, the Dorms. He frowned a little, but turned back to Mark and grinned.

"Think it worked?"

"I think it did _something_, though I'm not sure at the moment if it's what you want. I won't be surprised if I find myself pinned to a wall with Sirius' wand at my throat at some point today."

"He's a little protective, but he's not that bad! It's just a joke anyway, something to shock them... You don't think he'll overreact, do you?" He asked, twisting his fingers in the other boy's shirt nervously.

"No. Now, why don't you go on up to see your _friend_, and I'll enjoy the rest of the day. It's been a pleasure kissing you, Mr. Lupin, but I don't think my services will be needed any longer." Mark kissed him again, before leaving him to return to Sirius.

When he found Sirius, the other boy was sitting in their Dorms looking like someone had run over his cat. Remus had never seen him look so angry, or so upset.

"Where's your boyfriend?" He sneered when Remus came in.

"He's not my boyfriend. It was just supposed to be a joke... If I'd known you were... Not happy about gay people... I wouldn't have done it..." He explained, wincing and trying to hide how hurt he was. He still hadn't told them that he was gay, and if this was how Sirius would respond...

"Homophobic? Merlin, Remus, you think I'm homophobic?" Sirius laughed angrily. "No, I'm not homophobic. I'm _furious_! You're _mine_, Remus, and the thought of you kissing anyone else..." Sirius' fist slammed into the wall, expressing his feelings on the topic better than any words could have managed. Remus tried to be angry, tried to feel even a tiny bit pissed off at Sirius' declaration. The only feeling in him, however, was pleasure, and a warm thrill through his body at the possessiveness in Sirius' tone. It didn't make him feel subjugated or pathetic... It made him feel loved, wanted, _needed_.

"Sirius." He groaned, kneeling in front of the other boy. "'M sorry... I had to do something..."

"Mine." Sirius hissed, tugging him into a domineering kiss. Remus melted into the kiss, giving himself over to Sirius without hesitation.

"Yours," he breathed against saliva-slicked lips, "All yours." Sirius bit his lower lip gently, before pushing him down onto the carpet and proving to him that he was owned.

Remus groaned as he woke up, whimpering as his movements stretched and pulled at tender muscles.

"Oww." He whimpered, gasping as a warm body immediately covered his.

"Remus? You "owwed", what's wrong?" A warm, concerned voice asked. Remus smiled up at Sirius.

"Suffering the after effects of being yours, I think. Nothing you wouldn't expect from..." He flushed, not able to even articulate their activities.

"Maybe it would have been better in a bed." Sirius mused. Remus laughed.

"The way you were acting, I'm just glad there was lube involved." Remus murmured sardonically, smiling warmly at Sirius. "A bed would be nice, though. We've already wasted half our day with sex, no point changing that now."

Sirius didn't hesitate to pick him up and lay him out on the bed, kissing first his lips, then the prominent hickey on his neck.

"You drive me wild." He growled against the sensitive skin, rubbing slowly against Remus. "When I saw you with him... I could have killed him, for touching what was mine."

"No one's going to touch me from now on but you." Remus assured Sirius. "I love you, I'm _yours_, remember?"

"Mine. My love."


End file.
